To compete or not to compete....?

Last week I competed in the IFBB Pro Physique Grand Prix in LA and it was an eye opening experience for me.  When I competed last month, I had a disastrous first show.  I got on stage bloated and looking way too soft.  So with a few tweaks to my diet and cardio plan, I entered the Grand Prix with a competely different look and enthusiasm.  I went into that show hard, tight, and feeling really good.  My color looked great, my suit fit me so much better, and my posing was much more polished.  So, when I got the very last callout I was a bit thrown off.  I placed 8 out of 9 competitors at the Governor's Cup so I was really hoping to move up in the ranks this time.

I ended up placing 9th out of 16 beautiful girls.  All of us were shaped very differently, from smaller figure girls with less muscle to former bodybuilders with more size.  According to a reputable reporter in the industry, I pretty much disappeared on stage among this group of ladies.  At 5ft, 100 lbs, I just looked way too small compared to them.  Then, after speaking to the head judge and getting his feedback, he confirmed that I need to put on some more size- mostly in my legs. 

So here in lies the dilemma- do I continue to compete or take the rest of the season off to make improvements?  I think that every competitor (especially the natural ones) has to make a decision like this at one time or another.  In fact, I know some athletes that take off every other year to put on muscle.  As for me, I haven't taken a break from competing in 5 years because I was riding the waves of winning shows and pro cards.  But not even cracking the top 8 in this last contest when I was truly looking my best, caused me to re-evaluate my season plans.  With that in mind, I decided to play it smart, give my body a break from the dieting, and change up my workouts to focus on my leg development.  I think that giving me the rest of the year to improve will hopefully make for an incredible showing at my first contest next year.

The nature of this sport is making physical gains in the off-seasons to showcase your best physique come contest time.  Making the decision to take a little time off the contest circuit can be tough, but as a competitor you're never really resting...you're always hitting the weights hard and making the most of the time spent in and out of the gym.  As for me, I'm going to actually get to celebrate my 6th anniversary next month! I've been dieting every year for the past 5, so this year I'm going to actually order off of a menu and enjoy every bite!

So, while I may not be blogging about upcoming competitions and shows as much, I will be filling ya'll in on my workouts and progress!   Let's do this!

Show me the money...shot!

"Money shot!"...That's what my husband yells everytime I'm on stage and it's time to turn and hit my back pose.  It makes me smile every time I hear it because I know that he's my biggest fan...after all, he's helped me create my physique!  If you read my last blog then you know how my pro debut went a couple weeks ago. But, if you for some reason you didn't read it then I'll openly admit that I placed 8th out of 9 competitors at the Governor's Cup in Sacramento, Ca.  If I thought that competition was tough, then I'd better get ready for the 16 girl line up at the Grand Prix next weekend- including 2 past IFBB WPD contest winners.  

I recently read this quote by Josh Billings: "Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time."   How true is that statement...especially when it comes to physique competitions?  If you didn't place well, why would you go into the next contest looking the same?  There are so many times that I'll see competitors coming into shows looking identical to their past appearances, even though they placed at the bottom of their class!  That seems like such a waste of valuable competition prep time to me.  As competitors we go through months of resisting food temptations, late night or early morning cardio sessions when you'd rather be sleeping, and working out when you'd rather just watch a movie with your family.  To do this is tough enough...now imagine that you do all of this and then don't place well at your show because your diet or prep plan just didn't work that well for you?  It's frustrating to know you went into a show not looking your best and that can potentially be damaging to a competitor's spirit. But I decided after that morning show to not let it get me down.  I went back on stage that night and nailed my evening routine, bloated stomach and all.  In fact, I'm using that experience as motivation and fuel for my fiery spirit!  My mom always says that I'm like TNT- a lot of power in a tiny package!   

After placing so low in my first pro show, I couldn't wait to talk to the judges and get some honest feedback.  When you're leaning out for a show, your friends and family will all think you look great because they have no one to whom they can compare you.  But on the other hand, those judges have seen the best of the best- and that's what I strive to be.  Finding out exactly what I need to improve upon and then following that advice are the key components to me moving up in the ranks of this new division.   

So after talking to several of the judges I took their advice and ran with it!  I've been hitting that cardio hardcore (sometimes even twice a day) and my dieting has been on point so that when I present this new and hopefully improved package on stage next week I will know that I've truely done everything that I could in such a short period of time between shows.  Now, they did tell me that I could put on some muscle since I'm the smallest competitor in the division (100.6 lbs to be exact...and I'll probably be down to about 97 lbs by the end of next week) but me and my trainer/husband know that there's really no way for me to make any huge gains while dieting.  So, instead, I'm hoping to just look bigger by bringing in a tighter package.  I guess we'll see what they think!

I'll take one large helping...of humble pie, please!

Well I had my IFBB Pro women's physique debut this weekend and all I can say is that it was a huge reality check for me.  I woke up on the Monday before the show completely shredded and down to 100 lbs on my scale.  My husband and I freaked out and started adding carbs and taking away cardio to "fill me back out".  Needless to say, that was a terrible idea.  By the time I got to the stage on Saturday, my body had rejected all of my hard work over the past 4 months.  It held every carb I ate and all the water I drank just stayed under my skin.  That resulted in a smooth and soft look- the opposite of what I'd envisioned for my pro debut!  Everyone said to me, "Wow you looked great, but I couldn't really see your abs" or "Your routine was awesome but your legs looked soft".  Those are not the comments I was hoping to hear after working so hard to get ready for the show!

In all honesty, I knew I was bloated when I went on stage.  I could feel it and see it.  In fact, miserable is the word I would use to describe myself before I went up there.  But, I had to "save face" and just try and hope that the judges would be swayed by my personality and presentation.  So, I strutted my stuff through my 60 second routine and hit my poses as best I could (bloated abs and all) with a huge smile on my face.  Unfortunately my charm didn't didn't win out as I placed 8th out of 9 competitors.  After I got off stage after getting the last call out from the judges, I cried a little in the bathroom to relieve my stress, and then pulled myself together so nobody would know how upset I was.  My husband creates all my diets and he wanted to blame himself, but we were both at fault for this one.  I shouldn't have looked at the results from the first two pro physique shows this year.  





Johnny (4th place NPC Men's Physique A)  and me backstage



The girls that won those shows were pretty smooth and not very big.  Instead of realizing that they were the best ones there and not the "ideal" look for the division, I assumed that I would be going in too conditioned as I was early last week.  After the contest, I spoke with several of the the judges about what exactly I should change and where I need to improve.  By the way, this is the best piece of advice I can give to any competitor.  You'll be fresh in their minds since they just got done seeing you on stage and they'll get to know your name and face.  Anyways, they told me that I needed to be tighter (which I already knew), needed a better fit for my suit bottoms, and that I could also put on a little more muscle.  I also learned in speaking to them that tight, conditioned, and lean are all fine, just not "dry" like a bodybuilder.  That made complete sense and we've now re-strategized for my next competition in 3 weeks. 

Later that night I went ahead and "celebrated" my pro debut with some Taco Bell (they're open late...)and some cookies with frosting.  I slept almost all day Sunday and yesterday I started my new cardio regime.  I'm kicking it up a notch and will come into the next show tight, conditioned, and looking the best that my body can look!  I know what looks good on my body and you should go with what looks good on you too!!!

"Failure will not overcome me so long as my will to succeed is stronger" - Micheal S. Kirby

Peak Week- It's finally here!

For the past 4 months, I've been dieting and working my butt off to get to this point- peak week!  Time seems to drag on for the first 6-8 weeks, but after that it has this "snowball effect" and the days just sneak away from me until all of a sudden it's contest time!  It's been a turbulent few months- dealing with my stomach issues, my stubborn thigh fat, and just getting my head around starting the season earlier than anticipated. 

Finally, a dress that fits!

But overall I have to say that this season has been more about self-discovery and a feeling of "coming into my own" than just trying to get super lean and compete.  I'm finally going to step on stage in a division in which I really feel at home.  It's like trying on several different dresses until you find that perfect one.  Once you put that dress on, you just know it's right because it fits like a glove and makes you feel beautiful.  That's actually how I feel in the Women's Physique Division.  I tried bodybuilding but knew I couldn't get muscular enough without "pharmaceutical" help- and that simply has never been an option that I'm willing to explore.  Then I tried figure, which was an okay fit as long as I didn't flex my muscles.  Literally just standing on stage was what I had to do for 3 years and eventually that got boring.  I work my butt off every day in the gym and lift heavy to build my muscles naturally so you better believe that I want to show them!  When this new division finally came along, it felt like a breath of fresh air!  I encourage any girl who's not comfortable in their current division to try some other ones out.  There are so many options to choose from now that there's bound to be one that's a perfect fit.  You'll never know until you try so why not?  If you're having trouble deciding on a category, ask your coach or get feedback from the judges (which is what I did) and let them help you to decide in which division you should compete.  I think it's important to work with your body not against it- so picking a division that will showcase your physique in the best possible light is imperative if you want to succeed in this sport.

A lot of people ask what peak week consists of for me.  Well, here I am loading up on water for the next few days until I start depleting, and going to the ladies' room every 10 minutes (I've already gotten up twice while writing this!).  Since I'm as lean as I want to be, this week's workouts will be all about pushing blood into the muscles.  Light cardio sessions, squeezing muscles on my weight lifting days, and flexing between sets will help in bringing out any needed definition.  Plus, practicing my posing conditioning and polishing my routines will carve out those lines and help me to feel more confident on stage.  My focus in this contest will be on showing the judges my feminine muscularity and engaging the audience.  I've got a 2 minute routine for the night show to a slowish, girlie, dubstep mix (I know that sounds weird) and a 60 second routine for the morning show done to their house music.  All I want is that "I can't look away from her!" reaction...that's what brings the win :-) 

Now, let's see how it goes... 

2 weeks out: Small changes = BIG results!

So 2 weeks out from the Governors Cup and I'm feeling great! In my last blog I was stressed out, tired, unmotivated, and actually wondering why I was putting myself through all of this.  In fact, most of the time around this point, I really start dragging a*% and turn into mean zombie woman. But this time, Mike's actually been able to increase my food so my metabolism has revved up into high gear! I feel like a "normal person" again...and once you start competing, "normal" becomes a feeling you treasure.

I've talked about how much our bodies hate change. It doesn't matter how great of shape someone's in, a body still wants to resist what you're doing. I should know because my body loves to go to battle every contest season. It's constantly trying to hinder all my calorie burning efforts, but my determination seems to force it to change each year.  In my last blog I spoke about how I needed a good kick in the butt and that seems to have done the trick!  I'm back to feeling like my old self again.  I can feel the fire and excitement inside knowing that my contest date is so near!  Now it's crunch time for all of my final preparations- jewelry for the suit, perfecting the posing routines, and all the other little miscellaneous things too (makeup, eyelashes, etc).  

My nerves have calmed down a lot since seeing the outcome of the first pro women's physique contest.  There's such a big variety of competitors (bodybuilders and figure girls) entering this division that it's been unclear as to what physiques they'll be rewarding.  But, from what I've been hearing they don't want the girls too muscular, too hard, and only about 20% larger than a figure girl.  I think that if they stick to that criteria, I should fit comfortably within those parameters.  But, I also know that judging is subjective and really just depends on who shows up.  There seems to be several girls from other IFBB pro divisions who are switching over to WPD, but I'm going to look at it as earning my place in the division.  I really am only competing against myself and I believe that my physique has improved from last year so in that regard, I've already won. 

So the contest season is about to finally kick off for me.  I've been waiting since July of 2011 to hit that stage again and now it's right around the corner.  For the next 2 weeks, I'm focusing on my conditioning, food intake, and most of all sleep!  I'm still lifting as heavy as possible, but really concentrating in on etching out those details and pushing as much blood into the muscles as possible.  I'm not one of those competitors who believes in lightening weights, increasing reps, and doing 2 hours of cardio a day.  Being a natural competitor, I start dieting early and keep my weight gain minimal off- season to avoid needing to make drastic changes in my contest prep.  I plan on hitting the stage with a healthy body that glows and hopefully that will appeal to the judges!  We'll see what happens...

4 weeks out- Please kick me in the butt!

I was in a rut.  Not just a rut, more like a huge ditch.  I needed a kick in the butt to jump start me again.  Yes, that's right, I needed "my coach," aka my husband, to tell me to "snap out of it, quit feeling sorry for myself, and stop wasting my potential!"  Man that was hard to hear, especially from my loving husband, but it shook me out of my contest prep coma.  I ended up shedding a few tears and moping around for a little while, but then I got angry at myself for wasting precious prep time.  I just thought to myself, "What in the hell is my problem? I've been doing this for years now. I know what to expect from this whole process! Get a grip, woman!"

I've said it in almost every blog I've written- contest prep is tough! If it was easy, shows would have 1000's of people, not a couple hundred at best.   A national level show has about 700 people and how many people are obese in the U.S. alone? Millions? For every super lean, in-shape competitor, there are at least 20 over weight people.  When you think about it, so few people are able to do this sport because it drains you emotionally, challenges you physically, and tests you socially.  So getting to this level is really an accomplishment in itself!

So what happened with me? As is usual for most competitors, I started getting into my own head.  I kept dwelling on the fact that I'm going to be competing on the pro-level in a new (un-tested) organization and that all the girls will out-weigh me by about 20-30 lbs or so.  But, instead of focusing on the positives about my physique (like my symmetry and porportioned muscularity) I just kept thinking about how small I'm gonna look compared to the other girls on stage.  Plus, I started having my stomach issues again and was just feeling like crap.  I wasn't looking forward to my workouts because of how weak I was feeling both emotionally and physically.  The truth is, I was making excuses for my behavior.  I was just feeling sorry myself and taking it out on my husband and my body.  Some people may even call it self- sabotage, but all I really needed was someone to reel me back in.  Who better to do that than my coach?  After all, that's what a coach is supposed to do! 



This was on my bathroom mirror when I got home.





Even those of us who have been competing for several years need motivation, encouragement, and most of all- coaching!  I don't understand why would anyone want to try and do this sport alone.  I'll admit that this lifestyle can be a lonely one. How fun is it to always be eating fish and asparagus while everyone else eats burgers and fries? But having a support system lessens that feeling of missing out on the "fun" stuff. Human beings as a species need interaction (especially with like-minded individuals) and we also need approval from friends and family.  Hearing the disappointment in my husband's voice was the worst part of our "come to Jesus talk".  I don't ever want to see that look again. 



I know that if I ever decided to quit this sport he would support me 100%, but while I'm crazy enough to keep going, he's crazy enough to stay married to me and coach me all the while.  No matter what your passion is (running marathons, triathlons, or bodybuilding) my suggestion to you is to find yourself a good support system.  Whether it be comprised of your friends, family members, kids, trainers, or a little bit of each, having a good team to back you up will keep the fire lit inside your competitive soul! 

4 weeks ya'll and I'm coming for the win!

6 weeks out- Your body's talking to you, so listen up!

I can't believe how quickly this contest prep is flying by!  I'm just glad that I finally have a grasp on the stomach issues I'd been dealing with for the past 2 seasons.  It's really difficult to try and stick to a nutrition plan and cardio schedule when your body doesn't seem to agree with what you're doing.  I knew inside that something wasn't quite right, but I was naive to the idea that I could be having a reaction to the "healthy" foods I was eating. I had a what felt like a huge rock in my stomach after every meal, I was lethargic, exhausted, had aches and pains all over, and was having throbbing headaches on a daily basis.  Sounds fun right?  It's amazing how many people (both clients and readers) can relate to what I'd been feeling.  I've had so many people message me with possible solutions and share their stories of similar stomach issues.  It just makes me wonder- why do we put up with feeling that way for so long? If someone was standing on my foot, I'd ask them to move, but I'll let my body be in pain for months at a time without fixing it?  That makes no sense!

So, there I was trying to set a good example for my clients by "walking the walk" and yet I had all of these issues going on internally.  After doing research on moderate carbohydrate diets, common digestion issues, and food allergies, I decided to change some of the foods in my plan that I thought could be the culprits. Sure enough after taking out gluten and soy I started feeling better.  I'm not just talking about feeling a little better either. I started feeling awesome!  My energy is actually that of a healthy person, not someone who's been awake for 24 straight hours and surviving off of Red Bulls and thermogenics.

What I'm getting at is the importance of listening to your body.  It's amazing how much it has to tell us when we pay attention!  So I'm 7 weeks out from competition and I am feeling good right now.  About 2 weeks ago, my husband and I decided to increase my cardio a bit to get me ready a little sooner with the hopes of increasing my food prior to contest.  While I only increased my cardio by about 10 minutes each day, I quickly started feeling that all too familiar tired, dragging, feeling.  I was completely zapped of my energy and had to sit down with him to re-evaluate my plan. So, I backed off the cardio again and increased the carbs on one of my days.  I can't believe the difference that's made in how I feel! I have my energy back and am not a walking zombie anymore!

So bottom line- listen to your body and take action!  Talk to your trainer and figure out first what's going on with your body, then come to a resolution together. Feeling exhausted doesn't have to be a side effect of your competition dieting!  Believe me, if you want to be in this sport for more than one season, then you better figure out a way to make it tolerable if not enjoyable.  I'm going into my 5th season and each year I still feel that same excitement to get on stage.  I love this sport.  It truly is not a hobby anymore...it's a lifestyle!