Finding my (inner) strength!

 Who would of thought that putting on the off-season pounds would be so challenging?  Of course physically putting on weight isn't hard, but the mental side of it has been my biggest challenge in a long, long time.  For years I've been so scared to let myself put on weight for fear of putting on too much body fat and then having a terrible time getting it back off again in my next competition season.  But I've realized that there is a line to be drawn here- between putting on too much weight (or fat) and not putting on enough. 

So then the question becomes how much is enough?  I'm actually still trying to figure that one out.  Every 2 weeks my husband tests my body fat to ensure that I'm putting on muscle with a minimal amount fat.  I understand that since I'm a natural competitor I'll have to put on body fat while gaining muscle, but to me its worth it to stay off the "gear".  Meanwhile, my mind is playing games with me daily telling me that I'm getting fat and squishy and that I need to get back on my leaning out plan.  I deal with clients everyday who are going through these types of emotions.  Its an inner battle that I'm in the process of resolving by changing my focus and then hopefully my attitude.

I used to judge my progress by the new cuts I could see or the veins that were starting to peek out from under my skin, but now I've got to find a new way to visualize progress.  I definitely don't want to take progress photos so instead, I've decided to focus on my strength gains.  I think its a great way for me to see progression without focusing completely on my vanity.  Looking down at my belly just now, I see a little pooch forming but those abs supported my back during the 270 lbs hack squat the other day!  And these arms with considerably less definition pushed 55 lbs dumbbells on my incline chest press this week too.  I couldn't ever imagine pushing utilizing that kind of weight while sitting at 99 lbs like I was during my last contest! 

So that's where my focus has gone and that's where I think my focus should reside for the rest of my newly named "growth season".  It's no longer an off-season by any means...just ask my shoulders when they pressed 50 lbs dumbbells last week! Take some advice from me, finding a new focus will help you find a peace within your competitive mind!
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Keeping the fire lit...

Ok, I'm putting it out there: current weight- 112 lbs.

Off- season is a tricky time for most competitors.  For many it's a time to eat whatever they want and put on the "fluffy coat" until next season when you try and strip it all off again.  But for me, I'm thinking of it as a time to grow and change my focus a little bit from getting on stage to being a good wife, step-mom, and business owner.  As competitors we tend to put many things on the back burner, including our family, friends, and maybe even our business.  In fact, you don't realize how much you rely on that competition schedule until you don't have it anymore.  You go from eating an exact amount of food at a set time every day, performing cardio for a set length of time certain days of the week, and your scheduled workouts are focused precisely on the areas that need immediate improvement.  But what happens after the contest when that "schedule" is gone?

Me with 2 competitors/clients from the
NANBF Frenso show June 30th.

I've spoken with many competitors and almost all of them are terrified to go off of their competition plan (minus the post contest splurge meal).  The fear of getting fat and reverting back to those old bad habits is terrifying to many.  Believe me, I understand that it's hard to look at the larger person you see in the mirror everyday and feel positive when you see definition fading away.  But as I keep telling myself (I know that if I say it enough that I will start to believe it) this season is my time to grow.  I was thinking about it the other day and realized that I've never actually let my muscles reach their full potential.  It's been for fear of being too big for figure (and physique so I thought).  But now the tables have turned and I've gotten the green light from judges and husband/trainer that it's okay for me to put on some size!  I'm starting to look forward to it now and anxious to see what I can do with my physique!

Mike & I with our client at the
NANBF show in Fresno June 30th.

My husband and I workout together and already we've switched up our workouts (which admittedly are designed around me) a couple of times to find what's going to make my muscles grow.  This is relatively new territory for my body so it's going to take some trial and error to get the right formula.  I've been sitting at 112 lbs for about 4 weeks now, so we decided that it was time to change up my food and workouts.  We'd been going heavy 8-12 reps or so, but I can feel that my body needs more of a shock.  How can I tell it needs a change?  My biggest clue was that I wasn't getting sore after the workouts and also that my weight has been staying the same and even dropping a bit- even with the increased calories.  So it's on to lifting super heavy 5-8 reps and boy did I feel that change up!  We did the first workout yesterday- shoulders and triceps and by the time we finished the shoulder portion and moved on to triceps I could barely lift my arms!  It lit the fire inside of me again!

My suggestion to those of you trying to put on size- get yourself a good coach!  You need someone to guide you in the right direction and someone to hold you accountable.  The "time off" can make or break your next competition season, so the more disciplined you are the better!  Give yourself a day to eat for fun, but the rest of week...eat to grow!