Tired much?

 

1st contest, 2008.

I've always considered myself a very optimistic and determined person.  Anytime someone has told me I couldn't do something, I jumped into it headfirst.  I once had a trainer at a gym tell me (when I was overweight) that I couldn't get in shape on my own.  That was all I needed to hear.  I decided to prove him wrong and after entering my first bodybuilding show, I felt I had.  Athough my determination is what has contributed to my success; it also has become a fault of mine.  I began competing in 2008 and never took a break until May of this year.  But even on my so called "break" I bust my butt in gym 5-6 days a week striving to become a top pro competitor in this sport of bodybuilding/ women's physique.  I lift hard and push heavy weights with the determination of a little pit bull.  I want gains and the only way I know I can get those naturally is to push, push, push...  

The night before contest 2012.

But what happens when my body disgrees with my new regimen?  Being a competitive bodybuilder, I have a deep connection with my body and how it's feeling.  Using that mind to muscle connection has given me insight into how it's feeling and what may be lagging.  but, lately my body has just been giving me the middle finger...meaning that it's tired and something is wrong!  I usually come home from the gym feeling uplifted and excited about my progress, but lately I leave there feeling defeated and run into the ground.  You know that surge of energy you get from working out and feeling strong?  Well I haven't gotten that in a while.  In fact, I'd rather sleep than workout.  That's a sure sig that something's is wrong!

So I went to see a women's hormone specialist.  My husband found this women through one our clients that had similar symptoms as I have: extreme tiredness (even after a full night's sleep), irritability, forgetfulness, aches and pains all over, and weight gain despite my good diet.  I called this doctor the minute he gave me the phone number and have since seen her and done some blood and saliva tests.  The first culprit was low thyroid and I'm waiting on the final results for my second test for Andrenal Fatigue Syndrome.  My doc told me to check out Dr. Lam's website and read up on AFS so I would have a better understanding as to what my body is going through.  Dr. Lam says that, "Adrenal Fatigue is a decrease in the adrenal glands ability to carry out its normal function. The chief symptoms are fatigue, excitability, or depression.  Adrenal Fatigue is commonly caused by chronic stress from any source (including emotional, physical, mental, or environmental) that exceeds the body's capacity to adjust appropriately to the demands placed on it by stress. It is a condition that afflicts children as well as adults. It can be diagnosed by laboratory tests, if only the physician pays greater attention".  After reading up on this syndrome, I realized that sounded just like me!  I had every symptom he mentioned...

I wrote this blog to call attention to something I feel may be prevalent in the fitness community- not just bodybuilders.  So many blogs I read are about how great training's going, how much they've leaned out, and how they can't wait to step on stage.  But for me, I use this blog to share what's really going on- whether it's good or bad.  I'd never heard about AFS until a friend on Facebook commented on one of my posts.  I mentioned how tired I was after waking up in the morning and he told me to Google "Adrenal fatigue".  It's crazy to think that I was having an energy shot at 5am, an energy drink at 9am, green tea at noon, a pre-workout drink at 2 pm, and I still wanted a nap!  I've since quit drinking caffeine and my head's been pounding for over a week now, but I'm hoping they will subside soon.  I figure that ridding my body of extra stimulation is a good thing right now so it can start repairing itself. And, after I see just how bad my Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome is, I can work on feeling better and getting back into the sport I love!  But for now, I think I'll go take a nap...

 

When competition training goes wrong...

I'm writing my blog this week not only as a bodybuilder, but as a coach.  Normally I enjoy writing about my personal experiences as a competitor in training, but this week I felt compelled to talk about the struggles a competitor faces and my perspective as coach/trainer.  I know first-hand the obstacles and the emotions that one faces during competition prep and that they are often just brushed under the rug- never to be delt with...

My comp prep 2011.

I understand that food cravings play a major role in sabotaging the "leaning-out" phase of the competition diet.  I personally have dealt with these cravings every season since I began competing in 2008. But, I have learned how to curb those cravings through creative cooking and food experimentation.  I believe that as a coach it is important for me to share my findings with clients, but I admit that there are some things for which I simply don't have a solution.  I have personally learned how to avoid cheating on my competition diet plan by doing several things: 1. Redirecting my attention to another activity that doesn't involve eating (cleaning, drawing, exercising, etc) 2. Having non-calorie sweet treats (flavored teas/waters, Walden Farms sauces, chewing gum, etc) 3. If none of those things work, I go ahead and split up my next meal (if I have one left) to stretch the food out a little longer.  For those clients who succumb to their cravings, we usually have a "come to Jesus" meeting where they can "come clean" about their endulgences and re-evaluate their competition goals with me and my husband .  Depending on how close they are to a contest, we'll either recommend that they tighten things up immediately or we tell them to not compete at all.  Believe me, telling a client who's been prepping for 3 months that they shouldn't compete in the next couple of weeks is terribly difficult- but absolutely necessary!


Me watching my client practice her posing backstage.

That's why having a coach can be a very important factor in your competition prep experience.  Many stage hopefuls need brutal honesty when they otherwise won't get it.  What husband (besides mine) is going to tell his wife to not compete because she's not lean enough? It's my job as a coach is to "tell it like it is" no matter how hard it is for me to do it!  At almost every contest I sit in the audience wondering, 'Why do some people even got on stage?"  I know that may sound ruthless, but I have a critical eye and I feel that's what makes me, and my husband, great coaches.  I know that I would want someone to tell me to hold off on competiting if I wasn't physically ready!  Now as for the mental aspect of competing, that's something that only a competitor can work out.  I have tried every trick in the book to help people overcome their anxieties about getting on stage, but if a client's not mentally ready I can't do anything about that.  This is an individual sport.  We do it for various reasons like: proving something to ourselves, controlling existing food addictions, or simply needing a reason to get in awesome shape.  Regardless of the competitor's reason, it's an individual accomplishment.

Mike and me with our client.

With that said, here's is some advice to anyone new to the sport or simply struggling with their dedication to it:

1. Hire a reputable coach!  Ask other competitors who their coaches are and interview them to see if it's a good fit.  We all have different training styles and if their style doesn't work eith your personality, then you'll be miserable!  Also, you need a coach who's not afraid to tell you to refrain from competing until you're both physically and mentally ready.
2. Get in front of as many people as possible (in your swim suit- or competition suit) to practice your mandatory poses and your stage routines.  Practice makes perfect- especially if it's in front of lots of people!

Mike and me at the IFBB Pro Physique Grand Prix in LA, 2012.

3. Create a plan to help with cravings and potential moments of diet weakness (parties, weekend getaways, movies, work retreats, etc) and share that plan with your significant other and/or friends. If you have no plan, then you WILL fail!  Share the issues you may be having and let them encourage you and help you through it. Go ahead and let them hide the candy from you!
4. Take all criticism in stride.  People will tell you that you're too thin, that you need to eat because what you're doing is "unhealthy".  People won't understand why you are always working out or why you can't go out to eat- or why you bring your own food when you do go out.  All of those comments are results of ignorance about our sport, and it will all cease when they see you on stage- guaranteed!

If you have questions or need help with your competition prep or posing, feel free to contact us.  www.IronAddictionTraining.com.

Change does a body (and mind) good!

So the last time I wrote this blog I was in a tough place, one that I haven't ever really been in before.  I was feeling a little lost and beating myself up almost every day.  Since I last wrote, my life seems to be settling into a more comfortable routine.  I've found a new spark for my workouts and am feeling the fire of motivation igniting from within.  So what's changed?  To put it simply, I have.

One of the reasons that I began writing this blog is to release pent my up feelings and anxiety.  I needed a place to vent my frustrations and talk about my life as a competitor, wife, and (step) mom.  I've never been the type to have a bunch of girlfriends to gossip and cry with, so I use this as a type of self-counseling.  I used to pick up paper and pencils and draw out my frustrations, but I find writing to be very therapeutic too.  I don't even know if people actually read this non-sense, but that doesn't really matter to me anyways.  In writing these blogs I'm able to sort out my feelings and organize all the crazy thoughts in my head.  One characteristic that is common in every competitor is the need for organization and structure.  I have always prided myself on being a laid back kind of gal, not really stressing over the small stuff, and living life with an optimistic attitude.  That being said, I have since realized that I am only that way when I have structure and clarity in my life. 

I just recently decided that I needed to take control of my life, my health, and my future as a competitor.  I'd been feeling down and out about my weight gain since my April 2012 contest (20 lbs!) and the chaos (although minimal) I was feeling around the personal areas of my life.  I did a major clean up of my life: both emotionally and physically.  I cleaned my house top to bottom, organized my family's personal and business finances, and also revised my diet and workout regimes.  With all of these changes I felt like I was purging the negative energy in my life and allowing the positive energy to come in.  I know that sounds earthy and bohemian, but it's what I needed to do to get my "old" self back! 

I feel so much better about my business and where it's going, I feel better about my marriage, and I now have a renewed passion for the sport I fell in love with 6 years ago!  I look forward to competing in my next IFBB WPD show, but I'm not going to rush into it.  I decided instead to not pressure myself and enjoy the holidays.  I'm going to eat a "real" Christmas dinner and maybe even take a vacation where I can actually relax.  Every year I've rushed myself into doing the first show of the year in my area, but this year, I'm going to listen to my body and let myself put on the quality size I need to succeed in my division!  I'm gearing up for 2013 but definitely not rushing it...and that feels great :-)

It's all a balancing act!

We all have good days and bad days.  This growth season has had its share of both for me.  I've experienced really bad times where I just want to sit alone crying and then I've had those days where I feel like myself again.  Part of me thinks that it's hormones, but part of it is also the turmoil some competitors feel when they've finished their season.  I tried to explain these feelings to my husband with little success.  I explained to him that I was feeling a bit lost right now and that I wasn't sure how to live a "normal life."  He quickly replied to my statement with, "I thought the kids and I would be enough."  That made me feel like a horrible wife and step-mom.  All of these years I've focused on my competition schedule, my cardio, food prep, and all the things that would lead to success at my next contest- not realizing that my priorities have been a little twisted. 

For a young single competitor, life must be pretty simple.  There are no kids' activity schedules to work around or a life-partner to answer to...just a straight and narrow path to the stage.  But for those of us with businesses to run, kids to shuttle around, and husbands or wives to mollify, we have quite the balancing act to perform.  I've realized over my longer break or growth season (as I'm now referring to it) that competing should not encompass my life as it has in the past.  I think part of my recent moodiness comes from the realization of how selfish I've been and that I may have neglected important aspects of my life.  My "feeling lost" came from my readjustment into a more "normal life" where cardio is not a top priority and where workouts are tough but can be moved to a different day if necessary, and having no answer to the question "When's your next competition?"  While many people may think I should feel liberated, I actually felt uncomfortable and out of sorts.  I haven't liked gaining weight, feeling my clothes tighten around my 118 lbs frame, andI've found that not having such a strict regime is a little unnerving as well.  But now, I am finally getting my balance again. 

With all of these feelings I've been having, my husband decided to reduce my calorie intake and increase my cardio to 20 minutes, 4 days a week, in hopes of finding a happy medium.  Thankfully, the changes seem to be working.  I feel better on the inside- not so sluggish and moody and I look better on the outside (down 2 lbs from 120 lbs and still at 12.7% body fat).  So, I've now put on about 4 lbs of lean mass this last month which I'm thrilled about!  It gives me a reason to stay in this growth season...at least for a while longer.
 

Finding my (inner) strength!

 Who would of thought that putting on the off-season pounds would be so challenging?  Of course physically putting on weight isn't hard, but the mental side of it has been my biggest challenge in a long, long time.  For years I've been so scared to let myself put on weight for fear of putting on too much body fat and then having a terrible time getting it back off again in my next competition season.  But I've realized that there is a line to be drawn here- between putting on too much weight (or fat) and not putting on enough. 

So then the question becomes how much is enough?  I'm actually still trying to figure that one out.  Every 2 weeks my husband tests my body fat to ensure that I'm putting on muscle with a minimal amount fat.  I understand that since I'm a natural competitor I'll have to put on body fat while gaining muscle, but to me its worth it to stay off the "gear".  Meanwhile, my mind is playing games with me daily telling me that I'm getting fat and squishy and that I need to get back on my leaning out plan.  I deal with clients everyday who are going through these types of emotions.  Its an inner battle that I'm in the process of resolving by changing my focus and then hopefully my attitude.

I used to judge my progress by the new cuts I could see or the veins that were starting to peek out from under my skin, but now I've got to find a new way to visualize progress.  I definitely don't want to take progress photos so instead, I've decided to focus on my strength gains.  I think its a great way for me to see progression without focusing completely on my vanity.  Looking down at my belly just now, I see a little pooch forming but those abs supported my back during the 270 lbs hack squat the other day!  And these arms with considerably less definition pushed 55 lbs dumbbells on my incline chest press this week too.  I couldn't ever imagine pushing utilizing that kind of weight while sitting at 99 lbs like I was during my last contest! 

So that's where my focus has gone and that's where I think my focus should reside for the rest of my newly named "growth season".  It's no longer an off-season by any means...just ask my shoulders when they pressed 50 lbs dumbbells last week! Take some advice from me, finding a new focus will help you find a peace within your competitive mind!
www.ironaddictiontraining.com

Keeping the fire lit...

Ok, I'm putting it out there: current weight- 112 lbs.

Off- season is a tricky time for most competitors.  For many it's a time to eat whatever they want and put on the "fluffy coat" until next season when you try and strip it all off again.  But for me, I'm thinking of it as a time to grow and change my focus a little bit from getting on stage to being a good wife, step-mom, and business owner.  As competitors we tend to put many things on the back burner, including our family, friends, and maybe even our business.  In fact, you don't realize how much you rely on that competition schedule until you don't have it anymore.  You go from eating an exact amount of food at a set time every day, performing cardio for a set length of time certain days of the week, and your scheduled workouts are focused precisely on the areas that need immediate improvement.  But what happens after the contest when that "schedule" is gone?

Me with 2 competitors/clients from the
NANBF Frenso show June 30th.

I've spoken with many competitors and almost all of them are terrified to go off of their competition plan (minus the post contest splurge meal).  The fear of getting fat and reverting back to those old bad habits is terrifying to many.  Believe me, I understand that it's hard to look at the larger person you see in the mirror everyday and feel positive when you see definition fading away.  But as I keep telling myself (I know that if I say it enough that I will start to believe it) this season is my time to grow.  I was thinking about it the other day and realized that I've never actually let my muscles reach their full potential.  It's been for fear of being too big for figure (and physique so I thought).  But now the tables have turned and I've gotten the green light from judges and husband/trainer that it's okay for me to put on some size!  I'm starting to look forward to it now and anxious to see what I can do with my physique!

Mike & I with our client at the
NANBF show in Fresno June 30th.

My husband and I workout together and already we've switched up our workouts (which admittedly are designed around me) a couple of times to find what's going to make my muscles grow.  This is relatively new territory for my body so it's going to take some trial and error to get the right formula.  I've been sitting at 112 lbs for about 4 weeks now, so we decided that it was time to change up my food and workouts.  We'd been going heavy 8-12 reps or so, but I can feel that my body needs more of a shock.  How can I tell it needs a change?  My biggest clue was that I wasn't getting sore after the workouts and also that my weight has been staying the same and even dropping a bit- even with the increased calories.  So it's on to lifting super heavy 5-8 reps and boy did I feel that change up!  We did the first workout yesterday- shoulders and triceps and by the time we finished the shoulder portion and moved on to triceps I could barely lift my arms!  It lit the fire inside of me again!

My suggestion to those of you trying to put on size- get yourself a good coach!  You need someone to guide you in the right direction and someone to hold you accountable.  The "time off" can make or break your next competition season, so the more disciplined you are the better!  Give yourself a day to eat for fun, but the rest of week...eat to grow!

Bringing on the pain...Ouch!

Beginning of
leaning out 2011

I'm well into my muscle gaining plan and for some reason my body doesn't seem to be handling it as well as I'd hoped it would.  I'm getting stronger and lifting heavier but my body just seems to hurt all over.  I have aches and pains in places I didn't even know could hurt!  So I've started taking some joint supplements and stretching really good before workouts with the hopes that it'll help my body adjust to this new training regime. Not only are my workouts physically challenging, they've become mentally challenging as I feel that my body is fighting me on every rep.  Maybe it's over-training, maybe my body's just confused with all the hormones I seem to have flying around, or maybe I'm just being a wimp!  Whatever the issue is, it's really throwing a wrench into my plans!

For the last couple of years I've focused on trying not to gain any size so I wouldn't end up too muscular (especially for the figure category that I was competing in), but now the tables have turned and it's time for me to build some quality muscle, especially on my legs and glutes. Switching my goals means switching up my training, diet, and my general approach to weightlifting.  Over the past few seasons, I'd focused primarily on not gaining too much weight and just maintaining the amount of muscle I already had.  Now, my focus has become to push myself harder in the gym with heavier weights, fewer reps, and not supersetting exercises which kept my heart rate elevated. 

Off-season 2011

I love the awesome feeling of strength that weightlifting gives me, but watching my body change into a bulkier form of myself is really difficult.  My jeans are tight, I feel like I'm going to rip my shirts when I put them on, and to top it off I'm just a emotional roller coaster!  One minute I'm fine the next minute I'm ready to burst into tears over nothing...talk about hormonal issues!  I feel like I should be on medication or something to control my feelings, but instead I'm trying to just roll with the punches and focus on the positives.  So what are the positives of having this "off-season"?  I think I'd better list some to remind myself...

• I get a cheat day!  I get one day per week where I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want. No more sitting with my fish and veggies while my husband eats Smashburger!
• I do way less cardio...Lord knows I hate cardio.
• I get to actually celebrate my anniversary, birthday, holidays, and go to parties without worrying about my diet plan and packing my food.
• I get to spend more time with my family and less time in the gym doing cardio, practicing posing, etc.
• I don't have anyone telling me how skinny I look (in clothes) or how thin my face looks.
• I don't have that tired, spaced out, feeling I get (especially when it's close to contest date) from eating a low calorie/low-carb diet.

Off-season 2012

After listing all these positives I must admit that I feel better about this whole putting on size thing.  I tell my clients to focus on the positive side of things that they find challenging- it's an important quality to have not only in this sport but in any journey.  Now it's time for me to take my own advice.  I've got to give my eyes some time to adjust to this new "figure" I see in the mirror and try appreciate it for what it is- an IFBB Professional Physique competitor in training for her biggest season yet in 2013!  After all, how many people can say that?  Plus, 13 is my lucky number anyways... ;-)
 

To gain or not to gain? A competitor's dilemma.

2011

Competitors are always looking forward to that first post-contest meal.  We think about it for weeks up to the show; planning where we want to go and what we're going to devour.  There's nothing like that first bite after being "deprived" of those fatty foods for months on end.  But after that first glorious post-contest meal what happens to your diet?...Especially if you're transitioning to the "off-season"?  Food is something that most competitors struggle with and I think that many of us get involved in contests to help gain control of our eating.  So now that the off- season is upon me, I start thinking about the most common question: How much weight should I allow myself to gain? 

2012

I am writing on this subject because I'm going through it as we speak.  I finished my season (pre-maturely) and now I'm struggling with the changes my body is going through.  Most competitors should avoid gaining a lot of weight after contest so they can get leaner for their next competition season.  In fact, we usually encourage our amateur competitors to only gain 7lbs (for women) to 15 lbs (for guys) after contest to keep them relatively lean throughout their off-season.  I think it's important to do that especially when a competitor has enough muscle but has trouble dieting down for shows.  That's what I did for 3 seasons and it really paid off.  I kept my off-season weight within 7 lbs of my contest weight and I went on stage lean and tight.  Getting on stage lean while maintaining my muscle size helped me to my earn pro card in the IFBB.

This season was different for me.  I went in 2 lbs lighter than last year and that was a big red flag!  I was lean, but small...smaller than last year.  After comparing my photos from 2011 and 2012, I can see the difference in my muscle size and density.  Being a natural athlete I don't have the advantage of gaining a lot of size in a small amount of time, so now it's time to change up my game plan.  I'm actually going to let myself put on some weight this year which honestly scares the s%$# out of me.  I've struggled with being overweight my entire adult life and getting on stage has been my motivation to keep me from eating myself out of house and home. 

off season 2011

Now that I have the rest of the season off, I have to change my focus from being stage- ready to just being healthy and fit; something I haven't had to do in over 5 years!  I told my husband this weekend that looking "normal" is a little scary for a competitor.  He responded to me by saying, "Babe, believe me, you won't look normal!  Your arms are not normal!"  Most women want to be skinny, but not me!  I began this sport because I love having muscle and feeling strong is awesome.  I'm going for that natural muscular look...so bring on the healthy eats!

To compete or not to compete....?

Last week I competed in the IFBB Pro Physique Grand Prix in LA and it was an eye opening experience for me.  When I competed last month, I had a disastrous first show.  I got on stage bloated and looking way too soft.  So with a few tweaks to my diet and cardio plan, I entered the Grand Prix with a competely different look and enthusiasm.  I went into that show hard, tight, and feeling really good.  My color looked great, my suit fit me so much better, and my posing was much more polished.  So, when I got the very last callout I was a bit thrown off.  I placed 8 out of 9 competitors at the Governor's Cup so I was really hoping to move up in the ranks this time.

I ended up placing 9th out of 16 beautiful girls.  All of us were shaped very differently, from smaller figure girls with less muscle to former bodybuilders with more size.  According to a reputable reporter in the industry, I pretty much disappeared on stage among this group of ladies.  At 5ft, 100 lbs, I just looked way too small compared to them.  Then, after speaking to the head judge and getting his feedback, he confirmed that I need to put on some more size- mostly in my legs. 

So here in lies the dilemma- do I continue to compete or take the rest of the season off to make improvements?  I think that every competitor (especially the natural ones) has to make a decision like this at one time or another.  In fact, I know some athletes that take off every other year to put on muscle.  As for me, I haven't taken a break from competing in 5 years because I was riding the waves of winning shows and pro cards.  But not even cracking the top 8 in this last contest when I was truly looking my best, caused me to re-evaluate my season plans.  With that in mind, I decided to play it smart, give my body a break from the dieting, and change up my workouts to focus on my leg development.  I think that giving me the rest of the year to improve will hopefully make for an incredible showing at my first contest next year.

The nature of this sport is making physical gains in the off-seasons to showcase your best physique come contest time.  Making the decision to take a little time off the contest circuit can be tough, but as a competitor you're never really resting...you're always hitting the weights hard and making the most of the time spent in and out of the gym.  As for me, I'm going to actually get to celebrate my 6th anniversary next month! I've been dieting every year for the past 5, so this year I'm going to actually order off of a menu and enjoy every bite!

So, while I may not be blogging about upcoming competitions and shows as much, I will be filling ya'll in on my workouts and progress!   Let's do this!

Show me the money...shot!

"Money shot!"...That's what my husband yells everytime I'm on stage and it's time to turn and hit my back pose.  It makes me smile every time I hear it because I know that he's my biggest fan...after all, he's helped me create my physique!  If you read my last blog then you know how my pro debut went a couple weeks ago. But, if you for some reason you didn't read it then I'll openly admit that I placed 8th out of 9 competitors at the Governor's Cup in Sacramento, Ca.  If I thought that competition was tough, then I'd better get ready for the 16 girl line up at the Grand Prix next weekend- including 2 past IFBB WPD contest winners.  

I recently read this quote by Josh Billings: "Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time."   How true is that statement...especially when it comes to physique competitions?  If you didn't place well, why would you go into the next contest looking the same?  There are so many times that I'll see competitors coming into shows looking identical to their past appearances, even though they placed at the bottom of their class!  That seems like such a waste of valuable competition prep time to me.  As competitors we go through months of resisting food temptations, late night or early morning cardio sessions when you'd rather be sleeping, and working out when you'd rather just watch a movie with your family.  To do this is tough enough...now imagine that you do all of this and then don't place well at your show because your diet or prep plan just didn't work that well for you?  It's frustrating to know you went into a show not looking your best and that can potentially be damaging to a competitor's spirit. But I decided after that morning show to not let it get me down.  I went back on stage that night and nailed my evening routine, bloated stomach and all.  In fact, I'm using that experience as motivation and fuel for my fiery spirit!  My mom always says that I'm like TNT- a lot of power in a tiny package!   

After placing so low in my first pro show, I couldn't wait to talk to the judges and get some honest feedback.  When you're leaning out for a show, your friends and family will all think you look great because they have no one to whom they can compare you.  But on the other hand, those judges have seen the best of the best- and that's what I strive to be.  Finding out exactly what I need to improve upon and then following that advice are the key components to me moving up in the ranks of this new division.   

So after talking to several of the judges I took their advice and ran with it!  I've been hitting that cardio hardcore (sometimes even twice a day) and my dieting has been on point so that when I present this new and hopefully improved package on stage next week I will know that I've truely done everything that I could in such a short period of time between shows.  Now, they did tell me that I could put on some muscle since I'm the smallest competitor in the division (100.6 lbs to be exact...and I'll probably be down to about 97 lbs by the end of next week) but me and my trainer/husband know that there's really no way for me to make any huge gains while dieting.  So, instead, I'm hoping to just look bigger by bringing in a tighter package.  I guess we'll see what they think!

I'll take one large helping...of humble pie, please!

Well I had my IFBB Pro women's physique debut this weekend and all I can say is that it was a huge reality check for me.  I woke up on the Monday before the show completely shredded and down to 100 lbs on my scale.  My husband and I freaked out and started adding carbs and taking away cardio to "fill me back out".  Needless to say, that was a terrible idea.  By the time I got to the stage on Saturday, my body had rejected all of my hard work over the past 4 months.  It held every carb I ate and all the water I drank just stayed under my skin.  That resulted in a smooth and soft look- the opposite of what I'd envisioned for my pro debut!  Everyone said to me, "Wow you looked great, but I couldn't really see your abs" or "Your routine was awesome but your legs looked soft".  Those are not the comments I was hoping to hear after working so hard to get ready for the show!

In all honesty, I knew I was bloated when I went on stage.  I could feel it and see it.  In fact, miserable is the word I would use to describe myself before I went up there.  But, I had to "save face" and just try and hope that the judges would be swayed by my personality and presentation.  So, I strutted my stuff through my 60 second routine and hit my poses as best I could (bloated abs and all) with a huge smile on my face.  Unfortunately my charm didn't didn't win out as I placed 8th out of 9 competitors.  After I got off stage after getting the last call out from the judges, I cried a little in the bathroom to relieve my stress, and then pulled myself together so nobody would know how upset I was.  My husband creates all my diets and he wanted to blame himself, but we were both at fault for this one.  I shouldn't have looked at the results from the first two pro physique shows this year.  





Johnny (4th place NPC Men's Physique A)  and me backstage



The girls that won those shows were pretty smooth and not very big.  Instead of realizing that they were the best ones there and not the "ideal" look for the division, I assumed that I would be going in too conditioned as I was early last week.  After the contest, I spoke with several of the the judges about what exactly I should change and where I need to improve.  By the way, this is the best piece of advice I can give to any competitor.  You'll be fresh in their minds since they just got done seeing you on stage and they'll get to know your name and face.  Anyways, they told me that I needed to be tighter (which I already knew), needed a better fit for my suit bottoms, and that I could also put on a little more muscle.  I also learned in speaking to them that tight, conditioned, and lean are all fine, just not "dry" like a bodybuilder.  That made complete sense and we've now re-strategized for my next competition in 3 weeks. 

Later that night I went ahead and "celebrated" my pro debut with some Taco Bell (they're open late...)and some cookies with frosting.  I slept almost all day Sunday and yesterday I started my new cardio regime.  I'm kicking it up a notch and will come into the next show tight, conditioned, and looking the best that my body can look!  I know what looks good on my body and you should go with what looks good on you too!!!

"Failure will not overcome me so long as my will to succeed is stronger" - Micheal S. Kirby

Peak Week- It's finally here!

For the past 4 months, I've been dieting and working my butt off to get to this point- peak week!  Time seems to drag on for the first 6-8 weeks, but after that it has this "snowball effect" and the days just sneak away from me until all of a sudden it's contest time!  It's been a turbulent few months- dealing with my stomach issues, my stubborn thigh fat, and just getting my head around starting the season earlier than anticipated. 

Finally, a dress that fits!

But overall I have to say that this season has been more about self-discovery and a feeling of "coming into my own" than just trying to get super lean and compete.  I'm finally going to step on stage in a division in which I really feel at home.  It's like trying on several different dresses until you find that perfect one.  Once you put that dress on, you just know it's right because it fits like a glove and makes you feel beautiful.  That's actually how I feel in the Women's Physique Division.  I tried bodybuilding but knew I couldn't get muscular enough without "pharmaceutical" help- and that simply has never been an option that I'm willing to explore.  Then I tried figure, which was an okay fit as long as I didn't flex my muscles.  Literally just standing on stage was what I had to do for 3 years and eventually that got boring.  I work my butt off every day in the gym and lift heavy to build my muscles naturally so you better believe that I want to show them!  When this new division finally came along, it felt like a breath of fresh air!  I encourage any girl who's not comfortable in their current division to try some other ones out.  There are so many options to choose from now that there's bound to be one that's a perfect fit.  You'll never know until you try so why not?  If you're having trouble deciding on a category, ask your coach or get feedback from the judges (which is what I did) and let them help you to decide in which division you should compete.  I think it's important to work with your body not against it- so picking a division that will showcase your physique in the best possible light is imperative if you want to succeed in this sport.

A lot of people ask what peak week consists of for me.  Well, here I am loading up on water for the next few days until I start depleting, and going to the ladies' room every 10 minutes (I've already gotten up twice while writing this!).  Since I'm as lean as I want to be, this week's workouts will be all about pushing blood into the muscles.  Light cardio sessions, squeezing muscles on my weight lifting days, and flexing between sets will help in bringing out any needed definition.  Plus, practicing my posing conditioning and polishing my routines will carve out those lines and help me to feel more confident on stage.  My focus in this contest will be on showing the judges my feminine muscularity and engaging the audience.  I've got a 2 minute routine for the night show to a slowish, girlie, dubstep mix (I know that sounds weird) and a 60 second routine for the morning show done to their house music.  All I want is that "I can't look away from her!" reaction...that's what brings the win :-) 

Now, let's see how it goes... 

2 weeks out: Small changes = BIG results!

So 2 weeks out from the Governors Cup and I'm feeling great! In my last blog I was stressed out, tired, unmotivated, and actually wondering why I was putting myself through all of this.  In fact, most of the time around this point, I really start dragging a*% and turn into mean zombie woman. But this time, Mike's actually been able to increase my food so my metabolism has revved up into high gear! I feel like a "normal person" again...and once you start competing, "normal" becomes a feeling you treasure.

I've talked about how much our bodies hate change. It doesn't matter how great of shape someone's in, a body still wants to resist what you're doing. I should know because my body loves to go to battle every contest season. It's constantly trying to hinder all my calorie burning efforts, but my determination seems to force it to change each year.  In my last blog I spoke about how I needed a good kick in the butt and that seems to have done the trick!  I'm back to feeling like my old self again.  I can feel the fire and excitement inside knowing that my contest date is so near!  Now it's crunch time for all of my final preparations- jewelry for the suit, perfecting the posing routines, and all the other little miscellaneous things too (makeup, eyelashes, etc).  

My nerves have calmed down a lot since seeing the outcome of the first pro women's physique contest.  There's such a big variety of competitors (bodybuilders and figure girls) entering this division that it's been unclear as to what physiques they'll be rewarding.  But, from what I've been hearing they don't want the girls too muscular, too hard, and only about 20% larger than a figure girl.  I think that if they stick to that criteria, I should fit comfortably within those parameters.  But, I also know that judging is subjective and really just depends on who shows up.  There seems to be several girls from other IFBB pro divisions who are switching over to WPD, but I'm going to look at it as earning my place in the division.  I really am only competing against myself and I believe that my physique has improved from last year so in that regard, I've already won. 

So the contest season is about to finally kick off for me.  I've been waiting since July of 2011 to hit that stage again and now it's right around the corner.  For the next 2 weeks, I'm focusing on my conditioning, food intake, and most of all sleep!  I'm still lifting as heavy as possible, but really concentrating in on etching out those details and pushing as much blood into the muscles as possible.  I'm not one of those competitors who believes in lightening weights, increasing reps, and doing 2 hours of cardio a day.  Being a natural competitor, I start dieting early and keep my weight gain minimal off- season to avoid needing to make drastic changes in my contest prep.  I plan on hitting the stage with a healthy body that glows and hopefully that will appeal to the judges!  We'll see what happens...

4 weeks out- Please kick me in the butt!

I was in a rut.  Not just a rut, more like a huge ditch.  I needed a kick in the butt to jump start me again.  Yes, that's right, I needed "my coach," aka my husband, to tell me to "snap out of it, quit feeling sorry for myself, and stop wasting my potential!"  Man that was hard to hear, especially from my loving husband, but it shook me out of my contest prep coma.  I ended up shedding a few tears and moping around for a little while, but then I got angry at myself for wasting precious prep time.  I just thought to myself, "What in the hell is my problem? I've been doing this for years now. I know what to expect from this whole process! Get a grip, woman!"

I've said it in almost every blog I've written- contest prep is tough! If it was easy, shows would have 1000's of people, not a couple hundred at best.   A national level show has about 700 people and how many people are obese in the U.S. alone? Millions? For every super lean, in-shape competitor, there are at least 20 over weight people.  When you think about it, so few people are able to do this sport because it drains you emotionally, challenges you physically, and tests you socially.  So getting to this level is really an accomplishment in itself!

So what happened with me? As is usual for most competitors, I started getting into my own head.  I kept dwelling on the fact that I'm going to be competing on the pro-level in a new (un-tested) organization and that all the girls will out-weigh me by about 20-30 lbs or so.  But, instead of focusing on the positives about my physique (like my symmetry and porportioned muscularity) I just kept thinking about how small I'm gonna look compared to the other girls on stage.  Plus, I started having my stomach issues again and was just feeling like crap.  I wasn't looking forward to my workouts because of how weak I was feeling both emotionally and physically.  The truth is, I was making excuses for my behavior.  I was just feeling sorry myself and taking it out on my husband and my body.  Some people may even call it self- sabotage, but all I really needed was someone to reel me back in.  Who better to do that than my coach?  After all, that's what a coach is supposed to do! 



This was on my bathroom mirror when I got home.





Even those of us who have been competing for several years need motivation, encouragement, and most of all- coaching!  I don't understand why would anyone want to try and do this sport alone.  I'll admit that this lifestyle can be a lonely one. How fun is it to always be eating fish and asparagus while everyone else eats burgers and fries? But having a support system lessens that feeling of missing out on the "fun" stuff. Human beings as a species need interaction (especially with like-minded individuals) and we also need approval from friends and family.  Hearing the disappointment in my husband's voice was the worst part of our "come to Jesus talk".  I don't ever want to see that look again. 



I know that if I ever decided to quit this sport he would support me 100%, but while I'm crazy enough to keep going, he's crazy enough to stay married to me and coach me all the while.  No matter what your passion is (running marathons, triathlons, or bodybuilding) my suggestion to you is to find yourself a good support system.  Whether it be comprised of your friends, family members, kids, trainers, or a little bit of each, having a good team to back you up will keep the fire lit inside your competitive soul! 

4 weeks ya'll and I'm coming for the win!

6 weeks out- Your body's talking to you, so listen up!

I can't believe how quickly this contest prep is flying by!  I'm just glad that I finally have a grasp on the stomach issues I'd been dealing with for the past 2 seasons.  It's really difficult to try and stick to a nutrition plan and cardio schedule when your body doesn't seem to agree with what you're doing.  I knew inside that something wasn't quite right, but I was naive to the idea that I could be having a reaction to the "healthy" foods I was eating. I had a what felt like a huge rock in my stomach after every meal, I was lethargic, exhausted, had aches and pains all over, and was having throbbing headaches on a daily basis.  Sounds fun right?  It's amazing how many people (both clients and readers) can relate to what I'd been feeling.  I've had so many people message me with possible solutions and share their stories of similar stomach issues.  It just makes me wonder- why do we put up with feeling that way for so long? If someone was standing on my foot, I'd ask them to move, but I'll let my body be in pain for months at a time without fixing it?  That makes no sense!

So, there I was trying to set a good example for my clients by "walking the walk" and yet I had all of these issues going on internally.  After doing research on moderate carbohydrate diets, common digestion issues, and food allergies, I decided to change some of the foods in my plan that I thought could be the culprits. Sure enough after taking out gluten and soy I started feeling better.  I'm not just talking about feeling a little better either. I started feeling awesome!  My energy is actually that of a healthy person, not someone who's been awake for 24 straight hours and surviving off of Red Bulls and thermogenics.

What I'm getting at is the importance of listening to your body.  It's amazing how much it has to tell us when we pay attention!  So I'm 7 weeks out from competition and I am feeling good right now.  About 2 weeks ago, my husband and I decided to increase my cardio a bit to get me ready a little sooner with the hopes of increasing my food prior to contest.  While I only increased my cardio by about 10 minutes each day, I quickly started feeling that all too familiar tired, dragging, feeling.  I was completely zapped of my energy and had to sit down with him to re-evaluate my plan. So, I backed off the cardio again and increased the carbs on one of my days.  I can't believe the difference that's made in how I feel! I have my energy back and am not a walking zombie anymore!

So bottom line- listen to your body and take action!  Talk to your trainer and figure out first what's going on with your body, then come to a resolution together. Feeling exhausted doesn't have to be a side effect of your competition dieting!  Believe me, if you want to be in this sport for more than one season, then you better figure out a way to make it tolerable if not enjoyable.  I'm going into my 5th season and each year I still feel that same excitement to get on stage.  I love this sport.  It truly is not a hobby anymore...it's a lifestyle!

8 weeks out- "Visualize, then materialize!"

"Visualize, then materialize!" is a quote I love from the movie, The Secret. I'm referencing it because as I'm sitting here writing this blog I have several thoughts and feeling swirling around in my head.  I've been training clients for many years now and it seems that they fall into 1 of 2 categories. The first category is the client who's really motivated and willing to do anything and everything I say to see results and reach their goals.  They are successful at resisting the urge to cheat on their meal plans, they utilize the support of their family members and friends, and they have a true desire to succeed.  The second client is what I call the excuse-giver.  The one who says they're really motivated and willing to do what I tell them, but their heart just isn't in it.  These are the clients who cheat on their diet (or just don't follow it), don't get their workouts in, and allow outside factors like schedules and functions to affect their results-"but there was a birthday party for my child, I was on vacation, there was nothing for me to eat there, etc, etc". I could list about 50 other excuses but I digress...

Although clients training  for everyday health and those training for competition seem like completely different animals, they are in reality very similar.  It'd be impossible to count the number of times I've heard the words "I can't" or "it's just to hard to stay on the diet because...".  In fact, I think that I've heard every excuse in the book.  But what people often forget is that I too am leaning out for my contest season. Which means that I also am doing cardio everyday even if I don't feel like it, taking my workouts to the max every time, and eating 100% clean every day of week (even on birthdays and cruises!).  What I'm getting at is while I understand the challenges of getting healthy, I have less sympathy than someone who has never struggled with their weight.  I know that seems harsh, but the reality is that you are able to lose weight and get in shape....but do you really want to put in the work?  It took several years for me to get into the shape I'm in now and I still have to put in the work each day to maintain it! 

Chances are that you know someone who's been on a "diet".  In fact,  I think we all have at least one person that comes to mind immediately. Let me tell you as a person who has been fat (yes FAT...I said the F word) that diets are a waste of time!  The word diet refers to a temporary solution to a long-existing problem.  How long has your weight or your friend's weight been creeping on?  Why should you expect to get it right off?  Your body doesn't work like that unless you're using something synthetic to help with those extra pounds and that just gets plain dangerous!

 I know I sound like a preacher on a pulpit, but keep in mind that I'm in the midst of leaning out myself...so I totally get it! The mood swings, hunger, fatigue, and the irritability that comes along with watching your loved ones eat those yummy looking hamburger, fries, pizza, ice cream, and cupcakes (my favorite).  In the end, you need to come to terms with what it is that YOU want.  Do you want the meal or do you want the vitality that comes along with eating clean?  That's the decision that only you can make.  All in all, it's your body and only you can make those choices.  Personal trainers, like me and my husband, Mike, can only show you the path.  You have to choose whether or not to follow it!!!

10 weeks out- What's your motivation???

All day long I train clients (including many competitors) and help them to get motivated and in shape.  Whether you're training for a contest, a special event, or just to get healthy you need to find your motivation.  For some people its easier than others but necessary nonetheless.  When I first start training my clients I ask them what they want to achieve.  Do they want a stage-ready body? To run a full or half marathon?  Or do they just want to tie their shoes without losing breath?  No matter what the ultimate goal is, you have a reason for changing your lifestyle.  

Many people ask how I got into doing contests.  For me, it started with a photo, well actually two photos...I'm really hoping you can tell which ones are my before pictures!  The one in my awesomely huge tank top was taken the day of my college graduation.  I was barely fitting into a size 14 at that time.  I never really thought that I was fat either.  My family and friends never mentioned my weight...obviously that was for a reason.  But, after seeing that photo, something inside of me clicked.  I went out and joined Jenny Craig (because I didn't know any better). Thanks to their lack of guidance, I was only running (or trying to run) and eventually got down to an unhealthy 107 lbs with 30% body fat.  Needless to say, I started putting weight back on over the next few years and eventually climbed back up to about 130 lbs. 

I stayed at this weight for about 5 years.  I met my husband at this weight and he always tells me that he never thought that I was unhealthy or needed to lose fat.  But deep down inside I knew that I wanted more of a challenge.  My workouts and diet were stagnant and I was bored!  I needed a reason to get the extra weight off and finally keep it off.   It wasn't until 2008 when a complete stranger (you may know who she is...Jamie Eason) encouraged me to compete that a light bulb went off.  She planted the seed and gave me the little push I needed to make "the switch".  It was six months later that I competed in my first bodybuilding contest and have been hooked ever since!  

So what's my motivation to get and stay in shape?  Simply stated, its bodybuilding.  I love the sport and the thrill of competition.  The mental and physical challenges that a competitor faces are unparalleled.  The sport keeps me in shape and motivates me to keep my weight in check.  After all, I come from a long line of short, fat (sorry family), Italians.  I know that genetically, I'm predisposed to gaining weight easily.  That's why I look to bodybuilding to strengthen me as a person, as a woman, and as a trainer.  Now it's time for you to realize what motivates you and go for it.  It's up to you to make it happen!  I'm giving you your "push"....

11 weeks out- Time to get serious!

Starting out this season has already had its share of challenges.  It started out with severe stomach problems that I've finally been able to tame and included an 8 day cruise in the Caribbean.  I also caught what I'm calling the "super cold" that still won't go away, and to top it off, my husband and I opened up our new training studio in Roseville, Ca.  All of this has stuffed itself into the first couple of weeks of my season 5 competition prep!   So needless to say, I'm off to a bit of a rocky start this year.  Fortunately for me, I only allowed myself to gain about 7 pounds in the "off season" this year, plus I didn't gain anything while on my cruise.  I'm really hoping my discipline will end up working to my advantage and help me condense my prep time into 11 weeks instead of my normal 16.  All competitors encounter challenges during their prep, but it's how you handle them that matters.  I think overcoming those challenges and issues is all part of this sport and as my husband likes to say, "If everything in life were easy, there wouldn't be anything worth doing!"

  

 So, with those words in mind I am pushing forward to my first contest of the season- The Governor's Cup in Sacramento, CA on March 24th.  I have to keep my mind focused on the "finished product" and my eye on the prize!  Here are some things I 'm doing to keep my motivation on point:

• I watch posted videos of my future "competition".  This gets me pumped because I'm so freaking competitive!
• I start looking at suits and have also started listening to different types of music to pick out a posing song.
• I switch up my workouts frequently and start incorporating different varieties of training.  For instance, yesterday I did some exercises with the TRX at our studio.
• I also look for inspiration from past competitors that I admire like Rachel Mclish.  Women like her set an impressive standard for women's bodybuilding in the 80's and I'm hoping that my femininity and muscularity can inspire a new group of female competitors to join my Iron Addiction team!

Until next time...the 10 week mark.