Yep, you looked at that weight correctly…I’ve given up on thinking I’m going on stage at 100 lbs. In fact, I’ve gotten to where I really don’t even care how much I’ll weigh at contest. The only thing I do care about is that my body fat went down and I’m getting leaner! That's a huge step for me as a bodybuilder- not caring about how much I weigh. In fact, I'm only getting on the scale once a week because I want to make sure my body fat is going down and that I'm not losing any of my hard-earned muscle. Other than that, I don't really care about "the number" anymore. Honestly, that's like a monumental breakthrough! I've always focused too much on my weight (as most women do) instead of relying on my eyes to tell me how I'm doing on my diet.
Truth be told, I wasn’t even expecting to lose anything this week since I’ve got this freaking head cold. Seriously though, training and dieting are hard enough when you’re feeling good but when you’re under the weather it becomes a true testament to how bad you want something. In the past, I would have curled up with some ice cream to make my sore throat feel better, some greasy french fries to make my stomach feel better, or fast food of any kind just so I didn’t have to cook. Now I'm so much different. First of all, I very rarely get sick and even when I do get “sick” it’s never really that bad. I usually just the head cold type stuff, like what I have now. You know where you blow your nose for 5 minutes at time and repeat every 30 minutes or so? Normally I can just take some Nyquil at night and some cold medicine during the day and it’s all good. Those days of feeling sorry for myself & making excuses are finally behind me! Now, I eat even if I’m not hungry and force myself to cook whether I feel like it or not. It’s all part of the program and the life of a competitor.
I've always heard that it's the tough times that make you stronger and I've become a firm believer in that. In fact my husband has a great little saying, "If everything was easy, there'd be nothing worth earning." I've had my fair share of weight loss issues and I feel like I am finally coming to terms with my "self". I've accepted that I'm not a "skinny girl" and never will be. In fact, I don't want to be! I actually get insulted when people tell me how skinny I'm getting. I often think to myself "If they could only see what's under this jacket & pants!!!" Well, now they can...May 7th, 2011 baby!
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